deviant art

Deviant Login
Buy Art Buy adCast Buy Premium Membership
Shop		  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
[x]
Misanthropy Inc.My body hasn't slept in weeks
My head is like a coconut
And my antivirus is on the blink.
As usual I have a rumbling in my gut,
Too much coffee will do that you know.

Besides that, I have to see my shrink
And explain again I'm in this rut
That only an affair or cocaine can fix.
I asked a friend of mine how's tricks
And she gave me all her problems,
There to hand out support and tissues.
Like a good sponge I absorbed her issues
So she could be free to blow some guy.

Or girl. Can't keep up with people these days.
Some are straight and some are gays
And others haven't a fucking clue.
The ceiling fan has some interesting views
On racial minorit
Math Your numbers and symbols are like
Little pieces of death sprinkled with confusion
Like a class on psych.

Your lines and curved parenthesis are
Unlike a lovely woman because
I'd rather be hit by a car.

Your greater and less than are like labels.
Which like Grimm stories and fairytales,
You should have stayed fables.

The imaginary and rational numbers are a
Curse to kids, adolescents, and adults.
Which is why you should go to hell and stay.

Saying I'd rather be dead
Is an understatement for solving your problems
Gives me more and kills me in the head.

Math, I may need you at school to pass
But I greatly dislike you so,
Please calcula
Ts and CsDon't ask me what my sign is.
The stars don't play my game.
Don't ask me for my birthstone.
Those rocks are all the same.
Don't ask me for my Chinese year.
I'm not a Chinese girl.
Just tell me what your kink is.
And I'll give it a whirl.
DeleteOh delete button, how you taunt me so!
To think that with a click, my mistakes can be no more.
I'm scared that if I touch you, I won't get it back.
But if I don't risk it now, I'll be know to slack.

Oh delete button, must you be so close?
You set the keys on fire, and don't provide a hose.
The time is nigh; Must make a choice; What's a girl to do?
Oh how thoughtless; We're not friendless; We still have "undo".
I Fought the MandrillI Fought the Mandrill

It takes a lot of skill
to fight a mandrill
They're clever and vile
with hearts filled with bile
and ugly red asses
what a threat to the masses
In a magazine I'd seen
a photo of one rather keen
on being some big shot celebrity
I knew he was the foe for me
He went by the name of DJ
and he lived several states away
at the Denver Zoo of course
so I headed straight to the source
the bastard was so hard to find
but he was given away by his behind
scarlet, just like that stupid letter
he was sly, but I was better
face to face, nobody nearby
one of us just had to die
with an aura generating rage,
DJ sprung from out his cage
a
Pie As In Crime If I was 3.14Pie As In Crime

If I was 3.14 inches high
I would be rather sly
I could walk right passed
The highest security
They’d be unable to detect me
Going right to the treasury
How easy it would be
To get to the money
How hard it would be
To run with the money
With the money in hand
I'd be unable to stand
If I was 3.14 inches high
I'd be unable to drive
I'd have to be in shape
Just to get to the place
If I was 3.14 inches high
Life would not be as easy as pie
I would even fail at crime
Glitter glueGlitter glue on my hand
HA! My hand shall sparkle
When it dries it feels like sand
And my mom goes matriarchal

Krissy simply stares
As I skip across the room
Mrs Colonna glares
As I make a glittery mushroom

Glitter glue is fun
It's acid-free and safe
Its gold just like the sun
But it makes my hands chafe

I'll decorate my book
And everyone will look
For the Star WarriorsDear Star Warriors
I wrote this letter to you to forgive me after they fought us dangerous. If I did not use my arms and any dangerous thing, we will always be friends and then the link is broken between us like a crystal heart. I also wanted to forgive me that I wanted to kill you with my weapons with Kirby. And I recognized my mistake after our dangerous fight. Here, I would like you to forgive and become friends as first day.
Mathilde
The Hobo from TogoWhen I lived in Togo Togo Togo,

I met a hobo hobo hobo.

He said his name was Billy Billy Billy;

I said his name was silly silly silly.

Then he kicked me kicked me kicked me

In my knee knee knee,

Then he ran ran ran

Away from me me me,

That hobo hobo hobo

From Togo Togo Togo.
Ganj-zillaHere's a little story of a couple of guys
who tried to grow some pot but to their surprise
they did something wrong, I'm not sure what they did
but a monster was made because of it
It grew and it grew and it grew through the roof
it grew arms and legs and it was on the loose
As it walked down the street all the people ran
from this people-smoking, pot leaf monster man
He picked up the people one by one
between his green, leafy finger and thumb
He put them in a barrel of spikes
and twisted them around 'til they were busted up real nice
He gathered the flesh and picked out the bones
then he rolled it, licked it, smoked it, got stoned!
He got a
BandersnatchyBandersnatchy
the hour was skiwampis
when moon clovers were aglight
the king of the Wood Sloths
was toraining through the night

the futrid mormlaggs bargled
while the heliophils a-rest
and groshing out the torpal
came a rather werdish pest

It was the dreaded Bandersnatch
as frumious as a markled moke
the Sloth king saw him and
in fear gave out a little quoke

the Bandersnatch squialled
and began to charge the sloth
the sloth king swung his speord
which gave off a might qloth

the diamentical battle ended
with bith being ribiskewed
they shook eachother's talits
and made a samonic krewd

at brun'gle, Cabbage-Eaters
went about the irrane s
#ElephantMilk in Full FlowThe #Herd be stampeding #ElephantStyle
Picking up #MilkOrders with every mile,
With trunks a trumpeting,
Bustling an' a hustling.
Though, not I hope, rustling our mercantile.
Browse More Like This
Download File
HTML, 885 bytes more ▶

More from ~gollylagger

Color Me HappyImagination, electric and pure
Swallowing science, in search of a cure

A way to cope, to handle this
Travelling down my esophagus

A stunning defeat, its just so tragic,
As one by one, they work their magic

Featured in Groups:

Not currently featured in any groups.

Details

June 20, 2007
885 bytes
Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 8
Favourites: 2 [who?]


Views: 64 (0 today)
Downloads: 0 (0 today)
[x]

Coffee and Tea

:icongollylagger:

I filled my coffee mug,
But its not filled with coffee.
I don't prefer it,
So I fill the mug with tea.

The mug detests this,
It rather likes it's coffee.
It loathes me, waiting there,
I just slowly sip my tea.

"Why, Christine," it asks,
"Why do you deny me coffee?"
"Because I'm selfish, mug,
So please stop bothering me."

But it didn't stop;
The mug kept pushing coffee,
Until one day,
I decided against my tea.

It finished brewing,
And I filled the mug with coffee.
Filled to the brim,
The mug seemed quite happy.

I pick up the mug and throw it against the wall.
I fill my teacup as I watch the pieces fall.
:icongollylagger:
Inspired by my tea, which I drink from a coffee mug.

I couldn't have done it without you, tea! :tea:

I love personification!
Add a Comment:
 
Preview   Add Comment
:iconorfim:
~Orfim Feb 15, 2008
i read it aloud to myself and i love the flow of it
it's so silly, i love it!
Reply
:icongollylagger:
~gollylagger Feb 18, 2008
well thank you so much! that's the feeling i was going for, glad you liked it! :D
Reply
:iconorfim:
~Orfim Feb 18, 2008
you're welcome of course
Reply
:iconenigmatic13:
~enigmatic13 Jun 27, 2007
Haha I really like this one! :) A really amusing thought.
Reply
:icongollylagger:
~gollylagger Jun 27, 2007
thanks, another poem that i just couldnt let become too serious :D
Reply
:iconhindered-mind:
!Hindered-mind Jun 21, 2007   Writer
I love the last stanza, Great job
Reply
:icongollylagger:
~gollylagger Jun 21, 2007
You saw it coming, didn't you?
Thanks for reading!
Reply
:iconhindered-mind:
!Hindered-mind Jun 21, 2007   Writer
Oh yeah I saw it.

I love reading it
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
Preview   Add Comment
©2013 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Developers | Careers | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Premium Membership Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy